Recently, I asked my mom what my Chinese name meant in Chinese. Apparently, 家翹 means “the best in the family”. So many things clicked in my mind. I thought to myself, “Wow! Even before I had accomplished a single thing in my life, she already named me as ‘the best in the family’.” And I know how this can sound – That’s so nice! Your parents named you the best just as you were. You didn’t need to accomplish anything for them to think you’re the best! That was not what my brain thought.
My brain thought, “I hadn’t even accomplished anything and I was already expected to be the best. I had pressure from when I was born to be the best!” And funnily enough, that’s what I thought when I was a kid when my mom would compliment me to her friends in front of me. I thought, “I’m not what she’s describing. And now I have to go be that person she described” – those standards that felt so impossible to achieve.
I’d like to believe that I grew up achieving that “best” my parents intended for me to be. I am high achieving, I have a strong work ethic, I am educated and articulate. Low key, I thank them for that and I thank my younger self for thinking about things in such an anxious way – it got me to where I am today. But now, I strive to be the version of “best” that I want myself to be. A version that is true to myself, kind, loving, accepting, and embraces being a flawed human. A version who believes that life is about growing alongside those around us and showing people the path they were meant to take. I want to be my version of “best”. What is your version of “best”?
Author: Jacklyn Chung, RP, CCC
